The Crafter: A Curious Species

I couldn't pass by this piece. It is hilarious—and, for the most part, pure truth. 😃👍

If a crafter has settled in your home, you will notice right away: a big question arises—how do we go on living? The arrival of a crafter can thoroughly disrupt the usual routine.

1. Habitat

Crafters need a lot of space. A large room with plenty of shelves, boxes, and two or three tables works best. No matter how many shelves you put up, your new pet will occupy them all—and will almost certainly demand more. Never tidy a crafter's habitat: what looks like rubbish to you may be a treasured supply to them. Their sleeping place should be comfortable, with a lamp nearby in case inspiration strikes in the middle of the night. The room also needs an internet-connected computer, lots of paper, sketchbooks, notebooks, pens, pencils, and tools. And never send a crafter to the shop alone: they may come home with everything except what you sent them for. 🙂

2. Feeding

Your pet's diet should be varied, but convenient to eat quickly before retreating to the craft room—or, better yet, to carry there. Keep in mind that a crafter may not cook for themselves or for you, unless they are sculpting inedible fruit and vegetables from polymer clay.

3. Lifestyle

Crafters spend much of their time in their room making one thing or another. If your pet is deeply absorbed in the process, it is best not to disturb them or enter their territory. If they cannot create in the day, they may switch to nocturnal mode. Getting a crafter out of the house is not easy; shopping together, photographing their work outdoors, or taking part in a craft fair may persuade them to go for a walk.

At times your pet may behave rather peculiarly: baking beads in the oven, bringing shapeless flea-market clothes home and immediately cutting them into scraps, collecting buttons, or using objects in every way except their intended purpose. Remember: this is not rubbish—it is new material!